Pole Dancing and Me

I've always believed that I should write what I want to know, rather than what I do know. Learning something new makes writing fiction a full-on blast. But sometimes I cheat. Like when I wrote exotic dance scenes in Management Skills, I ended up relying on my general dance experience.

But ever since, I've wondered... shouldn't I find out what exotic dancing is all about? I got my chance last Friday when one of our local pole dance studios (yes, we have two!) offered a trial class for 5 bucks. Armed with curiosity and a full water bottle, I went. The instructor was cute as a button, wearing some sort of tiny volleyball shorts and jogbra. Happily, she was patient and a skilled teacher. She started out with stretches and upper-body strengthening exercises. I should've known I'd be in trouble when she started doing one-armed planks.

Soon we were learning mini-routines on the pole. Arm strength is critical. Why? Because pole-dancing is actually not dancing; it's gymnastics. It is an athletic event. The pole is made up of some sort of material that's supposed to stick well to skin. Evidently, a bare thigh squeeze can help hold a person up. Hence the instructor's volleyball shorts. Unfortunately, I wore super long shorts, sometimes known as pants. So no thigh squeeze for me. I had to hang and slide and twirl using my upper-body.

Which brings me to the subject of sexiness and pole dancing. Grimacing and grunting and landing in a meaty heap is not normally considered sexy. Let's just say I tried hard. But the instructor did teach us a little routine we could do on the floor. I convinced myself I was even graceful doing it. I committed the little dance to memory, intending to show my husband.

I performed my floor dance for him. He found it... inspiring.

The pole-dance class left me with aching shoulders and arms. I hurt for two days. I still have bruises on my inner and outer thighs and ankles. I can't wait to go to class again.

Miss You, Sir: Cover Reveal

I'm thrilled to announce that Siren will be publishing my new BDSM novella series about the Quinn Brothers. Miss You, Sir will be coming out at the end of February. Take a look at the terrific cover. I love it!

How Not to Apologize for Plagiarizing

Shia LaBeouf, the "Transformer" actor, has been called out for plagiarizing a graphic novel written by Daniel Clowes for his short film. Here's Shia's apologetic tweet from Dec 28.

"When you've made a mistake you should apologise. But more importantly -- most important of all -- you've got to learn from your mistakes."

This apology is a huge mistake for three reasons.

1. A victim of theft doesn't want to hear about how a thief is going to learn from his mistakes. Tell that to the judge--or to your mother, Shia.

2. The tweet itself is plagiarized.  Nick Clegg, the UK Deputy Prime Minister wrote the same thing in 2012--including the British spelling of apologize.

3. The promise to "learn from your mistakes" is less than sincere when theft is getting to be a habit.  LaBeouf's short graphic novel "Stale N Mate" allegedly plagiarizes a Melville House book by Benoit Duteurtre.

Shia's tweet from Dec 30 continues the sorrys:

I can't apologize enough. I'll always be sorry this happened. Trust is hard earned and I messed that up. #Gottadobetter

"Sorry this happened" isn't an apology. It puts the blame on fate. Fate is a trampoline blowing into someone's yard--not the theft of ideas.

And Shia tweets on Dec 31:

Mr. Clowes, I can only ask that you view my apology as a stepping stone toward repairing this misunderstanding between us. I'm sorry.

Misunderstanding? Again this an attempt to minimize the problem. Where's the personal responsiblity, Shia?

And finally, here's Shia's latest tweet. He blames his supposed drug habit:

Im addicted to lean & that shit ain’t no joke. I can barely remember all the things I’ve done & said. However there’s no excuse 4 skywriting