Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Is BDSM Really a Lifestyle?

I say no.

A lifestyle is the way you live. It's a thread that runs through every part of your life: You eat it and sleep it. A lifestyle is both an environment and a mindset.

Most people live a life, not a lifestyle. That's true for kinky folk, too. With rare exceptions, BDSM is just a way of interacting, a sensual hobby, a sexual game. But saying "we live the BDSM lifestyle," sounds hipper, more alt, more extreme, than "We enjoy BDSM activities". The expression lends extra drama to a part-time endeavor.

Indeed, the "BDSM lifestyle" phrase is generally overkill; it's also pretentious and "cooler than thou."

Nobody ever says they live a "parenting lifestyle", although life changes drastically when you become a parent.

It's time to drop the "BDSM lifestyle" expression.

2 comments:

  1. What? I totally live the parenting lifestyle! No sleep and juice everywhere.

    I get what you mean about it being used to be "cooler than thou". Like when some people call BDSM activities "play" and others are like "this is serious business!"

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  2. Yeah, I live the parenting "lifestyle", too! (Except with me it's no sleep because they are out too late...)

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